Continuing the debacle

Well, they've done it Ten has won a week of television, I don't think that's happened since the final week of summer 08 (Jan 2008).

Seven didn't help their case at all with the continuing debacle that is Prime Time Rugby Union, this time the game they play in heaven (and really expensive schools) pushed Seven's news in Sydney and Brisbane back and back, by which time everyone seemed to be tuned to either New Tricks or Harry Potter.

Also I take back my quip about Harry Potter's diminishing returns, although movies 1-3 seem to be played out - the fourth installment "The Goblet of Fire" can still draw a crowd and for a long night running to 10.55pm!

It's all about to change

It’s worth noting that the often repeated Harry Potter franchise has finally reached the point of diminishing returns for Nine, not one of the reruns has average a million this year, not even on the high traffic Tuesday night.

Next week they’ll be going for gonzo with the US reality train-wreck Dance Your Ass Off – which can be neatly described as The Biggest Loser meets Dancing with the Stars! The fact that this show featured neither Darryl Somers nor Ajay Rochester is a plus and I wish them all the best!

Ten and Seven were neck and neck – at least across the night, with Masterchef blowing away it’s competition early on and NCIS shoring up the late hour, though Seven feasted on Prime Time with the return of Surf Patrol making a strong impression and Packed to the Rafters dominating the 8.30 hour.

At least for Seven this is the last week they’ll have to worry about Masterchef spoiling their Tuesday, for Ten the question is, was NCIS’ poor performance due to ‘special time’ or is this a sign of things to come?

Missed opportunities

Anyone who knows me personally will be able to tell you that generally speaking - I don't like movies, I don't have the patience for them, I don't find them rewarding compared to television drama which has the capacity to really make you care about characters, I find comedy movies to be all lowbrow slapstick not even holding a candle to the wit of a Frasier or Seinfeld (or even an ALF!) and most of my favourite movies are either part of a series (Star Wars, Star Trek, Back to the Future etc) or have to really come with a great deal of personal recommendation for me to sit through them (Gran Torino, The Pursuit of Happyness, Wall St are recent forays for me).

So all in all, the current dearth of movies on television really works in my favour, I don't pay attention to them and they don't bug me, except on Saturdays...

Seven and Nine, faced with AFL from Ten, Cricket from SBS and the geriatric woodstock over on ABC1 both turn their Saturday sked into an unpredictable mish mash of weird movie genres.

Seven takes the cake for truly inane last night, The Princess Diaries (whether you were watching the original or the sequel depended on your location north or south of the Murray River) is a dreadful "family comedy" where the writers completely forgot that families also include adults.

As a child I well remember visiting the house of a family friend and been scarred for life by their kids repeated video playback of the godawful movie Mary Poppins, now I admit to repeatedly screening movies in my childhood, most notably The Empire Strikes Back, Star Trek IV, Krull and Back to the Future II but I draw the line a jaunty supernanny who flies in on an umbrella and dances with a chimneysweep - that's just too much for anyone with a functioning Y chromosone to take - therefore Julie Andrews is permanantly black listed from future movie choices, such is the horribleness of that one film.

To put it in context for you - I even liked The Wizard of Oz - so I'm not just pissing on fantasy musicals here - it's just a bad film.

So strike one for the Princess Diaries

Seven followed up that effort with (again) two choices either Kindergarten Cop, which is funny but played to death by Ten during the 90s, or The Transporter, a violent action film with very little story and even less reason for existing, why Seven choses to schedule a shoot-em-up on the last Saturday of the school holidays is anybody's guess but that's two strikes now.

As for channel Nine - it's that time of year again, Harry Potter time. I know I said I like films that form a much larger saga or story - but Harry Potter just leaves me cold, I remember going to Chamber of Secrets in the cinema with some friends and people were falling asleep! This is not a good sign, nor is it a good movie, I haven't bothered with the sequels nor have I read the books on account of, 1) I'm an adult, 2) I have kids so at some point no doubt one of them will take an interest and I'll be forced to hear about it 3) the school system is becoming so decrepit that these books will probably be on the High School English syllabus by the time my kids get there!

Anyway, needless to say I didn't watch a lot of TV last night, until about 1am, at which time I noticed this odd little film on Nine that I'd never seen before but had heard about.

Dog Day Afternoon.

All I ever knew about this was that it was an Al Pacino film, nothing else about it was known, but the sight of Charles Durning playing police negotiator in a scene that makes Police Cheif Wiggum look competent was enough to pique my interest.

What followed was an incredibly bizarre hostage story which (on researching it today) turns out to be a true one where a man robs a bank to pay for his lover's sex change operation, the film was thoroughly engaging in a way that current fairy floss blockbusters or cookie cutter action films couldn't hope to match and yet it sitting there buried at one in the morning when perhaps three whole people meters might be switched on.

I guess the miracle is that a free to air network even played it all. Now I'm not some crotchety old man by any means, well maybe crotchety - but at 32 this film was before my time, but I'd relish the chance to check some of these classics out - and what better night than Saturdays, what a sad missed opportunity.

But hey - you can always see The Princess Diaries

Rugby League finally locates fans! - Friday 21 / Saturday 22 November 2008

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

Just a quick one for the weekend. Friday's standout was definitely Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire which wnet well in spite of not screening in Adelaide.

For the record South Australians viewed Wipeout and the 6th Day saving Harry Potter for Saturday whilst the Eastern States watched the Rugby League and Perth finished off the cricket

Nine also struck paydirt on Saturday thanks to people finally taking an interest in the Rubgy League world cup, predictably 7 and Ten phoned in their Saturday night and were rewarded accordingly

Under the Ice - Friday 7 November 2008

Overall a better turnout last night than last week and most of the benefits were split between Nine and Seven with the newer Harry Potter movie posting a better number than it's well worn predecessors. Seven even did well with what is an ultra-violent action movie - something Ten hasn't been able to make work on Fridays.

No doubt they were helped by the fact that it was teaming down in Melbourne last night (the nation biggest TV watchers anyhow) keeping a good chunk of people indoors.

Ten, however, was unable to exploit with it's early evening numbers holding the network under the ice for the whole of Prime Time.

I watched Ice Road Truckers last night and it was good, interesting television. A documentary with a real sense of drama to it's story. I can say that for me it was better than anything else on at 7.30 Friday (and that includes Cable) but for some reason ten can't break through.

On any other network this show would be pulling 1 million plus but not Ten. Viewers also showed they prefer Harry Potter to X Men - but did people even know X Men was on?

Ten has got a real image problem right now - people just aren't giving it the time of day even when they've got something good to show.

No use trucking when they've all trucked off - Friday 31 October 2008

You know we're headed for summertime when everyone struggles to stay over 900,000 (let alone a million) and last night was a clear example with the old skewing Seven commanding the biggest audience, although many of the Better Homes Devotees must've stayed out in the garden last night as the show experienced a deflated turnout.

Harry Potter's second week was well in line with his first and Nine can expect this sort of turnout for the next several weeks as they churn through the series.

Over on Ten it's all doom and gloom, while the figure for Ice Road Truckers seems suspect (only 3/5 markets are noted even though the show had 100% clearance) but what is unmistakeable is that Will & Grace is floundering and an ultra-violent rebroadcast of the Terminator is gunning for an audience that just isn't at home.

Indeed T2 had two things going against it - first of all Ten's print predates the invention of digital television with a hoary old 4:3 broadcast making it look like the oldest thing on the box last night, secondly young males out for a bit of bloodshed movie action would've been hard pressed to go past last night's Fox Classics double Death Wish and Death Wish II! Fox Classics is building up a great reputation of screening some real classic films now all they have to do is discover widescreen and then we'll have something.

As for Ice Road Truckers, Ten just can't seem to take a trick, like I said several weeks ago, Friday has two audiences, Families and old people, ABC and Seven pitch to the oldies every time, Ten and Nine need to fight it out for the families, Ten pitching to a male audience on a Friday night, after footy season is completely the wrong target.

Squinting for laughs - Friday 24 October 2008

Seven continued it's dominance of Fridays with it's lifestyle flagship pulling a phenomenal 1.5 million across the big 5 markets.

As good as the news was for Seven - it proved absolutely bleak for Ten with Download attracting only half a million across the five cities, not a good look for ten.

The show itself is alright, the hosts are good together and they genuinely make an effort to keep it lively - compare the studio segments on Download with the insipid segues on Funniest Home Videos and they have them beat hands down.

Where Download suffers in comparison to Nine's laffer is in the quality (ie: picture quality) of it's clips, whilst Funniest Video's clips are often blurry or grainy (ie: Home Video quality) they still take up the full 4:3 frame, Download reduces the screen size to maintain some sharpness but the result is you have to squint to see what's going on.

When you're on Youtube with your face about 20 centimetres from the screen it's not a big deal - but watch it on TV sitting 3 metres away and it becomes a problem!

United 93 didn't do Ten any favours and may have been a better play on Sunday night where more adult fare (especially topical) can find an audience, not that the kids movie did all that well, Nine proved the law of diminishing returns with Harry Potter diving to 892,000. In a sense it's not bad on a night where not even Nine's news managed 1 million, nor is it that bad given that the movies running time can be expressed in days rather than minutes, but it is a low rating and the unpteenth time the film has been aired.

Absolutely no idea how Seven's Sydney/Brisbane movie "We're Here to Help" did in the ratings, but the International Rules game in the southern states did OK, although with figures well below normal AFL averages - looks like it's going to take a while for the game of gaelic football to really catch on in Australia!